My First Poem !!!
I thought about a thought
that got me thinking
It gave me a feeling that
my life wasn't sinking
I thought about a smile
one that would be with me
Through life's thicks & thins
Forever, who'll stay with me
Wake me in the mornings
kiss me good night
And between both of these
maybe have a lovely fight
Call me when I miss it
gimme a mizz if it misses me
Wait for me at dinner
though it might be sleepy
Get mad at me
if I get late
I'll wait for her forever
if I have to wait
Get me my smile
if I cry
Gimme a reason
for every nay or an aye
Look into my eyes
and tell me all
Help me get back on my feet
if I ever fall
Strike me like lightning
take my breath away
Not just once
.........everyday
The path of life
together we'll tread
The sky is blue
the roses are red
We'll find together
our life's treasures
Love them, live them
forever & ever & ever
You might smile
you might laugh
You might frown
or may be you'd just like this, my first attempt at penning down my thoughts in the form of poetry, and I've kept it as simple as possible.
(ACTUALLY, it is because I am not that good at English Vocabulary)
If you don't understand any point, please clarify...
Hopefully, my attempt will be appreciated
Regards
Rishy
Single and loving it
posted by Rishy at 8:00 AM
6 Comments:
hey, u r too good for a first timer!! awesome attempt.. and hey .. it contradicts ur closing comment of the entry 'single and loving it'. Ur poem tells me u are really ready for a relationship!!
now... the poem as u said was fairly simple and i think that was the beauty of it. Also it shows the rosy picture that u have abt relationships in ur mind. Not wanting to disappoint u, I'd say keep it up but always be aware of the other side of the coin.
The concept of facing life together hand in hand... is lovely... good rhyming... theres good beat sense also most of the time... great job rishy... write more.
10:23 AM
are yaar kya boring kaam pakda diya hai raat 1 baje. ab tune likha hai to accha hi hoga yaar. keep it up, keep it up.
11:38 AM
anonymous is vikas sharma !
thank you !
regards
rishy
11:40 AM
100gm here.. it was really lovely poem i am going to send this to my bf sayin that i wrote for him (editing some lines)......... hahahahahahaha.... jus kiddin..... but i really loved the poem... u have really pen down wat exactly men wants from their life partner
7:42 PM
Hi rishy, sorry for the late comments firstly !!
Well, the best judge for poems is SHE :) . I cant seem to get deep into poems :)
But my observations,
Was very creative and elegantly simple ... the simplicity dint affect the elegance at all !!
Was a bit long, and to maintaing that flow, simplicity, elegance and creativity throughout course is somthing really great I suppose.
-He
4:21 AM
hey man ! its definetily awesome for a first timer. i read it for the second time today . last time i was in hurry . thats why commenting so late. it tells one thing about you... that you are hopelessly romantic. she will b very lucky to hav u as her life partener.
7:12 AM
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